dreams can be important portals into our psyche. but it's so hard to remember the dreams that we have. people say that if you can get into the habit of writing your dreams down as soon as you wake up, you will gradually be better able to remember your dreams. here is my attempt at a dream journal. you will find any sort of needed background information in the curly brackets {}
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the first one (date unknown):i just had this really intense dream. there was something wrong and i'm not exactly sure what. rob was my boyfriend {rob *is* an old boyfriend of mine} and him and i had gotten into a fight. i feel though that there was something that was more wrong with me--like i had some demons, or some illness that needed to go away, cuz i went looking for my mother, {though the mother that i went looking for was not my momma in real life--though she is in the dream later}. anyway, part of the ritual that she used to cleanse me/heal me/make sure that i would be with god when i died was to burn me. i was in so much pain. i lie down next to her and we hold each other and she lights us both on fire. it's not something that grows and catches but something that remains low against our bodies and doesn't touch anything else in the room--not even the bed that we're lying on. she does this a couple of times--it's jewish {it was jewish in the dream; i don't think that there's any real jewish practice of this}. and then suddenly i'm sorta ok, but a little burned on that side of my body, but it feels like a sunburn. and i'm walking around and people (including my real mom )keep telling me what a hysterical state rob is in. there are several people i must see. i don't remember why though--i feel that there was something about me being in love with a girl but she was too young. i hear that my mother {the mother in the dream} is dead and i go back to that room where i find my dead mother on the bed where we were, the rabbi, and my father {a father in the dream, not my real father}--he had been in the room for the burning before. the rabbi said some prayers and we lit her on fire. it's not something that catches right away {wasn't before either} and we had to light a couple of times. my father told the rabbi that this was not the first time my mother had been set on fire. he is surprised and i say that she did it with me. she catches and we put her in the casket. i somehow feel that by being with me {for the first burning} she had given her life for me.
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